Hello everyone or noone I guess.
I am the tiny writer, that is how I feel at the moment, just tiny an invisible in this society. I created this blog for the main purpose of challenging myself to improve my writing, and some other traits on the way as well as to get to know me.
I am very realistic and well at the moment I don't know if depressed but really sad about myself.
I have the privelege of feeling like this, I know, however this doesn't take away my feelings about myself.
In this moment I feel defeated in every single way even though I haven't touched bottom at all, I am 28 years old, graduated from an University, and when I had to move to another country, I could not adapt or I guess made a good impression in interviews, so this have left me unemployed. (do you feel the emptiness like I do?, total silence just nothing). Seems like the worst, I've never thought to be this in my whole life as well as a housewife.
This is my reality, I may be crying in a glass of water (saying in my country which means cry over nothing) but I just feel useless. I am always trying to study to see if I can change myself or get better but because I want fast results, I just fail. I understand, I am not putting my 100% because like it or not it takes time to become an expert on something. That's why I am challenging myself like I did before.
Before I started getting heavier and heavier so I did I diet, my mindset at the time was," I am unemployed, housewife with no care in the world, if I failed in losing weight I am less than nothing".
I have so much to give but no opportunity to prove it, just in the damn interviews, I shouldn't see them as my nemesis, but sadly they are.
I currently live in the Netherlands I have been about a month here and well I am still discovering myself, something I didn't have to do in my homecountry where I had everything at the same time nothing but I had a purpose, I had a job that made me feel accomplished, made me feel capable of doing everything I put my mind on. But well life happens, I am very flexible so flexible that may be breakable. I do not want that anymore is time to change and this will be the time.
I am learning the language at the moment only by Duolingo, which is awesome free tool that helps a lot, and studying python to become a programmer, I think we should somewhat risk things, I am in a position where I can because money is tight but at the same time not that tight.
This is a a self exploration, self improvement blog as well as plasmating some frustations hopefully that won't happen that often. At the moment I am turning somewhat pessimist don't know. Well I have to study some dutch.
See you later
I am the tiny writer, that is how I feel at the moment, just tiny an invisible in this society. I created this blog for the main purpose of challenging myself to improve my writing, and some other traits on the way as well as to get to know me.
I am very realistic and well at the moment I don't know if depressed but really sad about myself.
I have the privelege of feeling like this, I know, however this doesn't take away my feelings about myself.
In this moment I feel defeated in every single way even though I haven't touched bottom at all, I am 28 years old, graduated from an University, and when I had to move to another country, I could not adapt or I guess made a good impression in interviews, so this have left me unemployed. (do you feel the emptiness like I do?, total silence just nothing). Seems like the worst, I've never thought to be this in my whole life as well as a housewife.
This is my reality, I may be crying in a glass of water (saying in my country which means cry over nothing) but I just feel useless. I am always trying to study to see if I can change myself or get better but because I want fast results, I just fail. I understand, I am not putting my 100% because like it or not it takes time to become an expert on something. That's why I am challenging myself like I did before.
Before I started getting heavier and heavier so I did I diet, my mindset at the time was," I am unemployed, housewife with no care in the world, if I failed in losing weight I am less than nothing".
I have so much to give but no opportunity to prove it, just in the damn interviews, I shouldn't see them as my nemesis, but sadly they are.
I currently live in the Netherlands I have been about a month here and well I am still discovering myself, something I didn't have to do in my homecountry where I had everything at the same time nothing but I had a purpose, I had a job that made me feel accomplished, made me feel capable of doing everything I put my mind on. But well life happens, I am very flexible so flexible that may be breakable. I do not want that anymore is time to change and this will be the time.
I am learning the language at the moment only by Duolingo, which is awesome free tool that helps a lot, and studying python to become a programmer, I think we should somewhat risk things, I am in a position where I can because money is tight but at the same time not that tight.
This is a a self exploration, self improvement blog as well as plasmating some frustations hopefully that won't happen that often. At the moment I am turning somewhat pessimist don't know. Well I have to study some dutch.
See you later
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